WEDNESDAY, 31
AUGUST 2016 10:40
Finding opportunities in obstacles
Written by Jamuna Devi Advani
Leaving India
I
left India in November 1994 for Canada to start a new life with mixed feelings.
Leaving behind my near and dear ones was not easy but at the same time, the
prospect of settling down near our children was a dream come true. My husband,
Rup, decided to join me later while my son had left for Ireland earlier to see
his friend. We planned to meet at Heathrow International Airport on our way to
Toronto but my son missed his flight and I had to face the immigration officers
at Pearson International Airport all alone. I was nervous and started blaming
my husband for allowing our son to go ahead and miss his flight. Waiting in the
immigration room for about two hours for clearance as some papers were needed
from Canadian Embassy at New Delhi was the longest wait. When the ordeal was
over and I came out of the immigration, seeing my eldest daughter Lata waiting
for me with her husband outside the airport terminal was the most joyous moment
of my life. Thankfully, by then, my son had also arrived by the next flight.
It was with this rough episode that my journey – and life – in Toronto began.
It continued with ups and downs like surging waves in the ship in the sea. I
was, however, determined and not one to get scared of challenges.
I
had not worked for over three decades in India but in Toronto, I made plans to
take up a job. This wasn’t easy but determined to be financially independent, I
chose to revive my nursing career. I applied for a license to work as a nurse
through the Board of Canadian Nurses’ Association. After verifying my
documents, I was instructed to take a course in psychiatric nursing for three
months. During our training in the 1950s, under the aegis of University of
Delhi, we didn’t have psychiatric nursing programme. As I waited eagerly for
the training to start, I took up a job as a caretaker in a nursing home for
seniors. It was a 24-hour duty, I was allotted an apartment, and I could not go
out anywhere except on weekends.
Changing track
Though
I was committed to the profession, I kept wondering if I could take up nursing
in my 60s. This made me turn to the profession of a beautician, a dream I had
harboured since my younger days. I didn’t seek advice from anyone, I didn’t
consult my fellow nurses who were working in Toronto. I simply trusted my gut
instinct and decided to go with the flow and enrolled myself at the local
community college in the city of Etobicoke for a two-semester course in
cosmetology.
Just
when I started planning my professional future, something unexpected happened
and there was a complete turn of events. When I completed my first semester of
the cosmetology course, my daughter (also in the US) sought my help to look
after her three kids as she wanted to complete her teaching course/ credential.
Understanding my own desire to study and work, she was prepared to enroll me
for a cosmetology course at the Beauty College in California. After consulting
my husband – he was still in India to complete his pending work before moving
to the US – I finally decided to move to California. In February 1996 I arrived
in the US with one big suitcase. My daughter submitted legal papers to the
authority for my green card. In the meantime I got my work permit.
Heady
with excitement, nervous but confident, I enjoyed being a student again at the
Beauty College. It didn’t matter if I was 60 years old, the learning and the
potential to grow was immense. My association with the younger generations was
an uplifting one and my hours of experience from Toronto and Indian School of
Cosmetology helped me tremendously, even facilitating in the completion of my
course earlier than scheduled. I took exams and tests for the California
license in cosmetology and once I got my license, job offers started pouring
in.
I
couldn’t have asked for more – I had experience in a field that I enjoyed and I
had financial security. Now I was waiting for my husband, my life’s companion
to join me in California. I dreamed of our new future, the new chapter that we
would write together in a brand new land. But two months before he was to join
me, my husband passed away due to sudden stroke while he was in Shillong. His
sudden death was a heavy blow to my life, it left me stunned, unable to cope
and as a lonely widow in a new land. From being the person waiting with dreams
in her eyes, full of ambition, prospects of new opportunities, and my
companion, I felt lonely, lost and vulnerable.
Rediscovering
myself
I
don’t know how – and when – I picked remnants of my lonely life but with time,
and through the support of my daughter and her husband, I managed to find
myself healing. Around this time, the owner of Fantastic Sam’s salon offered me
a job at her salon. The owner was Indian, I felt an immediate kinship and
accepted the offer. Though I loved my work, I couldn’t continue for too long –
we had to move to Northern California as my son-in-law had got a very good job
offer in the Bay area. The shift wasn’t easy for me because I was leaving
behind my friends, my professional life all over again to make a fresh start. I
looked around in the Bay Area for a job for over two months – I came across JC
Penney Salon and put in my application and got hired immediately – if only I
had seen this salon earlier! Though it was a grueling schedule, I enjoyed my
job and looked forward to my retirement after working tremendously hard. By the
end of 2006, I was ready for my social security and I took my retirement.
Another
turning point for me was to get spiritual guidance through NichirenDaishonin
Buddhism’s philosophy. One of my clients, an American lady, over 80 years-old,
had talked to me about this philosophy and though I didn’t take it seriously
then, ten years later I found myself in her living room, listening to the
sonorous chanting ofNamyo ho rengekyowhen I gifted her my poetry book,Land of
the Dancing Deer. I found myself drawn to the tenets of the philosophy and
became a member, drawn to its rich views and life-altering results.
While
the particular Buddhist philosophy allowed me to find peace and calm within, I
also found myself drawn to playing golf. Through a friend I got introduced to
this sport at the Pleasanton golf club. I persevered and continued and I’m now
a member of the Fore Women’s Golf Association and Pleasanton Ladies’ Fairways
group. I don’t play it so often because of my knee aches even though I love the
sport.
The Writer Emerges
My
relationship with my father wasn’t easy and I remember writing my journal for
the longest time, penning down thoughts and my dreams and aspirations along the
way. I always loved reading and writing and much of my childhood and growing
years saw me reading poetry and novels. Decades later, a chance meeting with
memoir writer Linda Joy Myres made me understand that penning one’s own
thoughts was a journey towards healing. I took an introductory class with her
and I continued writing – I experienced a sense of overwhelming joy and calm. I
got my book published and through my journey as a writer, I realised that I
owed a debt of gratitude to my father – our volatile relationship allowed me to
explore writing as a medium to heal. Harbouring no grudge or resentment, I
found myself healing completely. I have, since my first book, published my
poetry books, including Land of the Dancing DeerandSymphony of Heart Songs. My
memoir, The Letter, an ode tothe Northeast, the area of India where I grew up,
has been received so well, particularly from the Manipur community. To hone my
skills further, I am a member of Trivalley Writers’ Club and Story Circle
Network.
I’m
now working on a book in our local script and dialect, Meiteilol. I am treading
a difficult path as the original Meitei Mayek script is replacing the Bengali
script.Still trying to master the original script, I plan to write in both
scripts so that the old and new generations of Manipur can read it.
jamuna Devi Advani is based in California. She is a keen golfer and a
